Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
