vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
