Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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