And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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