Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
In America we eat man semen.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
