im drinking this country out of the recession.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize