Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
