why didn't you poke me back
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
