He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
