She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am available for nakedness
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