Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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