Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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