I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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