I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize