Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
