new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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