If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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