Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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