she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
