I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize