Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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