you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize