She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
