I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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