Buhtt sex?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
