so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
