plz talk dirty to me
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize