I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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