she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
