About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize