Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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