No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
