So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
