This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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