Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Randomize
