At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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