TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
