Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
