I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize