He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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