Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
