i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
