Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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