literally had 100 drinks last night.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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