I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
BRING THE BAGELS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
