Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
