If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
