so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
