I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
