On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
