She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
