Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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