I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
