i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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