College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
