Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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