I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If that was your dad, he is hot
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
