dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
