Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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